


live my life alone

by bennybentacles



Series: whumptober 2020 [8]
Category: The Umbrella Academy (Comics), The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Child Abuse, Gaslighting, Gen, Hurt No Comfort, Isolation, Pre-Canon, im sorry, this is a rough one people
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-08
Updated: 2020-10-08
Packaged: 2021-03-07 19:01:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,026
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26892589
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bennybentacles/pseuds/bennybentacles
Summary: she was sick. her father said she was sick ao she must be, right? after all her father is always right
Series: whumptober 2020 [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1953556
Comments: 1
Kudos: 16
Collections: Whumptober 2020





	live my life alone

**Author's Note:**

> whumptober 2020 no.8  
> Where Did Everybody Go?  
> "Don't Say Goodbye" | Abandoned | **Isolation**

she was sick. her father said she was sick so she must be because her father never lied. her father told her that she is lacking, that she is not doing her best, that she is stupid and she knows thats true because her father _never_ ever lied

"you must stay here until you are better number seven" and that was the end of that. she looked at her father and at Pogo and at her smiling mother before she nodded and the door on her new room closed. there is nothing on her room but a bed and pillows so she figures out that she must only be here for an hour because surely her father would not leave her all alone with nothing. that wouldn't be right

at first she only heard her breaths but that's normal _right_? everyone can hear their breaths. she wants to ask her father but she can't because she can't go out because her father said so and now she is locked inside her room

she tried counting. one to seven. her brother is one, she is seven. _one two three four five six seven._ she misses her siblings but she knows she won't see them until she gets better because her father said so and what her father says, goes

she hums, she whistles, she hums, she whistles as she wonders how long it would be before someone comes to see her. she peers at the window in her door _again_ and _again_ and _again_ and _again_ trying to see if someone would come to see her, her heart growing heavy each time she sees nothing but the bare hallways before her eyes

she sighs, her hands reaching as far as it could before going back near her and she got up. she tried to entertain herself with nothing but her imagination, tried to remember her mother's story that she tells them every night and she wants to ask her mother what the story was about again but she can't because she can't get out

then she started hearing her heartbeat. at first it was faint, and she panics and she gasps as she scrambled to cover her ears because _she hears_ , she hears her heart and its **loud, too loud, so loud**. "dad" she whispers before flinching as she hears her voice from every corner of her room.

her hands scrambled to push herself of her bed before she shakily ran towards her door, eyes peering over the foggy glass and she screams, calls out to her father because she thinks somethings wrong with her, thinks that she needs help and she can't go out

"please" she begs, voice soft because she tried screaming and she felt her ears bleed and she thinks they are bleeding but she checks and it's not

"i need help" she slowly slumped on the floor, eyes still looking at the metal door separating her from the rest of the world while her hands throbbed from slamming at the door. she felt tears pool ger eyes and she sniffled once, twice, thrice, flinching everytime her sniffles echoes throughout the room

"mom please help" she tries calling for her mother. who has never failed to save her from everything. she sobs quietly, in fear of bursting her ears and she wished that she could get out of the room because she hates it here, _hates it_ and she can't go out until her father tells her

her room upstairs had a handle which she can open the door with and this room does not and she cries because she can't get out. _can't get out_ , why is she still not getting out. how long has it been? is she still sick? she wants to get out 

she tries counting again. one to seven. her brother is one and she is seven. she wants one, who always saved her from the spiders. wants two who lets her hold his knives for him. wants three who pins her hair back. wants four who gives her all his fruits because she loves them. wants five who talks to her about books. wants six who hugs her while his stomach rumbles and she feels strong whenever she manages to calm the horror

she wants his siblings because they never ever left him alone in a room with no locks because they know she hates being locked up. she _hates it. hates it. hates its._

  
she still waited. she tried humming softly, singing softly, jumping softly, running and walking softly because doing things loud makes her ears hurt so bad and it's been too long. she knows it's too long.

she saw her mother approaching her room from the corner of her eyes and she vibrates in excitement because she would get out. she need to get out. wants to get out

she stood in front of her door, patiently waiting as her mother slowly opened her room, her left hand holding a tray. her mother smiled as she went inside her room, hell clacking on the floor and she flinches everytime the sound hit her ears.

"can i go now mother?" she ask. voice still cracking as she felt the pressure around her loosen and she breaths deeply. she looks at her mother expectantly, waiting for her confirmation because she can't, _can't_ spend a day in this room again because it hurts

"im sorry darling. your father said it you are still not better" and she sobs as she nods her head slowly because she knows her father is correct. she's still not fine. that's why she's here.

"can you hug me before you go?" she ask, voice meek and her mother nodded before she hugged her with arms that gripped her too tight before letting go and she had to watch as her mother got out of her room and locked her door again leaving her _alone, alone, alone_ with her heartbeat ringing in her ears

it was only after three months that she has been let out and she has long been numb enough not to care about anything because what her father says, goes. 

**Author's Note:**

> i struggled so hard with this prompt that im still not satisfied with what i wrote but i still have papers to write and its sad 
> 
> title from This Is How I Disappear by My Chemical Romance if you are wondering
> 
> yell at me on tumblr and twitter @bennybentacles


End file.
